i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize