I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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