it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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