Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are my feet made of real feet?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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