is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
