she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize