So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
