just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
