he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
