Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
