I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
