Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
