whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
