Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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