i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We have started to decorate penises.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
