You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
