I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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