We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
