I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You left your phone here
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