so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize