Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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