she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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