Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize