Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
