He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
