***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Less talking, more tequila
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
