I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My dick has a subreddit
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
