Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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