she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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