I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize