Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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