i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
