I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
