Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My ass is underappreciated
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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