shes about as inviting as chlamydia
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
