you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
