apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
