Your dad touched me again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
