thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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