Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize