At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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