My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
