thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
