And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
