Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
