What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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