True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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