All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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