doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
