girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
