I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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