just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
4 words: hood of his car
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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