In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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