I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
