White coat. Heels.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
