i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
