I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
