Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There r osticjed everywhere
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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