swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
