he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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