this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
