fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
