Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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