You're earring is so big in my mouth
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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