You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
