I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
