how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
how does that bad decision feel?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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