Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
