Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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