I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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