what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
