Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
