I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
