i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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