I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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