Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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