Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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