I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
